The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins - Chapter 2 Summary

Let Them + Let Me

Here’s the truth: Let Them is powerful… but it’s only half the story. The real magic comes when you add two more words: Let Me.

This is Chapter 2 of our Let Them breakdown series.

We all have moments when we feel left out, annoyed, or afraid and our instinct is to control things. That urge comes from fear: fear of being excluded, not being liked, or everything falling apart if we’re not steering the ship.

When you say let them, you free yourself from others opinions and actions. But here’s the trap it can also make you feel superior. Like you’re the wise one, and everyone else is messy.  it’s easy to detach and blame others… If you only ever say let them, you risk isolation, withdrawal, and shutting down.

As you can see in this diagram you feel your “better” and “above” the people you said LET THEM too.

Mel shares a moment where she saw her friends on holiday together without her. At first, she said let them and it gave her some relief. But then she realised: she hadn’t kept in touch, she hadn’t reached out. If she wanted a social life, she couldn’t just let them… she had to say let me. Let me connect. Let me create the friendships I want.

That’s the crux of the theory. Let them frees you from what’s not yours to control. Let me reminds you that your power is in what you do next.

Continuation of Real-Life Examples from Chapter 1 blog now including LET ME:

• You weren’t invited

Friends had a gathering. Family went out. You saw it online. You weren't included.

→ Let them.
You don’t need to be everywhere to be valued. Your peace matters more than the politics.

→ Let me reach out when I miss connection. Let me plan something next time.

• They didn’t reply to your message

You saw the “read” receipt. It’s been two days. You start questioning what you did wrong.

→ Let them.
Silence doesn’t always mean something’s wrong. Don’t fill the blanks with stories.

→ Let me send a follow-up if it matters.

• Someone judged your life choices

You don’t want kids. Or you do but not yet.
You quit your job. You moved back home.
And they made a comment.

→ Let them.
You’re not living their life. You’re living yours.

→ Let me keep living in alignment. Let me build a life that feels good to me.

• They commented on what you’re eating / wearing / doing

“That’s a big lunch.”
“You’re wearing that?”
“You work too much.”
“You don’t work enough.” 🙄

→ Let them.
Other people’s opinions aren’t your responsibility. Especially unsolicited ones.

→ Let me choose what nourishes me. Let me own my energy, my vibe, and my decisions.

CHAPTER 3 COMING SOON